Day 9: No Escape

Oy. Today was a long, very stressful day. My son had a couple appointments at the hospital and among other things, we're faced with the possibility that we might have to spend his first Christmas in the hospital.

When it came time for me to do yoga today, I wanted to push myself in poses that would allow zero time for thinking. That meant that after I did my usual Ashtanga A series as a warm up, I decided to do poses that are more challenging to me like dolphin and boat pose. I spend pretty much my entire time trying not to collapse that I can't think about anything else other than, "OH GOD WHY AM I DOING THIS?!"

My logic is questionable.

But when I concluded my practice with savasana, I discovered that I can't forcibly shove my problems out of my mind. Well, I could try and suppress all that but "Family Guy" has taught me that's a great way to develop a tumor.

"I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor . . ."

As I lay there, everything I'd been trying to ignore hit me at once. I'm stressed out. I'm scared. I haven't eaten a decent meal in days because I'm so preoccupied. And to top it all off, my hips are sore from sitting in the car all day. I'm a mess and a half. But today I realized that even if I try and run away from my problems, I can't run away on the mat. Sooner or later they'll catch up to me and it'll be a lot easier if I deal with things as they come instead of letting them pile up.

The inside of my brain is basically an episode of "Hoarders."

Look at me learning things from yoga! Now putting that into practice, that's a whole other story . . .