Day 21: Devastating News

Tonight, our family received some terrible news: our friends' baby girl passed away this afternoon. As I referenced in my first post, my son received a heart transplant. While we were in the hospital, I befriended another mom who had a little girl who was born just a couple days after my son. Both of our kids received heart transplants and this mom and I call our kids "heart siblings." Hearing of her daughter's passing has broken my heart and I can only imagine the pain she feels.

After receiving the news, I almost decided not to do yoga tonight but I thought maybe it would be good for me to get moving. I made a point to do more standing poses since I've been skipping them lately and at first, they were great because my leg muscles are weak and the poses hurt and focusing on my muscles kept me from focusing on how devastated I feel emotionally . . . until I did warrior 2. When I was pregnant and doing prenatal yoga, my instructor always called warrior 2 "fierce mama warrior." I felt like I was going to lose it so my solution was to do dolphin.

Take that, feelings!

I made it through the rest of my practice okay until I got to savasana. Apparently, there is only so far you can run away from your emotions when you're on your mat because I started crying. I wish I could say it felt cathartic and I feel a little better after doing yoga, but I don't, not really. Maybe tomorrow's practice will be better. I know a lot of people use yoga for emotional healing, maybe I can be one of them.